As I remarked not long ago contemporary English is saturated with expressions for conveying one's indifference, or outright contempt, for other people in a way that seems none too flattering of the historical moment in which we have found ourselves.
Many such words and phrases are actually words repurposed from their original meanings--with reflective of this the way we have turned a vocabulary of moral criticism into a vocabulary of moralizing, with exemplary of this the use of the word "self-pity." As I have stated before I do not deny the validity of the concept--that people do indeed feel self-pity--but society being what it is people make the accusation far more lightly than they ought; and usually against those least deserving, precisely because of their cowardice in the face of those who really do feel self-pity, and really do hurt others through it; and that it is often more about those speaking than those spoken to.
Think of it this way: if I accuse you of self-pity, I give myself permission to not only not care about your problem, but tell you so to your face as you sit there suffering. I give myself an excuse to be callous.
Not exactly uplifting, that--but in a society always offering excuses for "tough love," people of conventional mind eat it up.
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