What is This Nonsense About the MCU Getting "Better Writers?"

Those who do not specifically avoid doing so are apt to hear something of the rumors circulating in the entertainment press.

Many of these rumors are quite stupid.

One such rumor that is stupid in such a way that it seems worth addressing here is that a Disney-Marvel management looking to save their colossal investment in the mighty but failing Marvel Cinematic Universe as it and the studio flounders are looking to hire "better writers" than they used in the past.

So far everyone seems to have spoken of this uncritically, as if thinking "Clearly the movies have not been very good. Clearly hiring better writers will help."

But think about this seriously for a moment. Are they seriously saying that the most powerful studio in Hollywood, making its colossal investment in the highest-grossing film franchise of all time, could have hired "better writers" than it did, but simply declined to do so? Are we expected to imagine that, laying out up to $700 million for a single production even before the residuals and participations were counted in, they said "Let's go with the second-stringers?"

Anyway--if we can set the unthinking adherence to the "habit of invidious comparison" of the conventionally-minded aside for a moment--what does "better" mean in this context? Is there some objectively accurate and precise system for classifying writers by individual quality to which Hollywood is privy--or set of systems, with one specifically regarding all-purpose competence at producing screenplays for superhero films? Or perhaps some sophisticated algorithm according to which they could in advance conveniently generate a numerical score indicating the suitability of this or that writer for the kind of Captain America 3 or Thor 2 the People In Charge hope to make?

Of course not. And it would not matter very much if such systems did exist because, in spite of the tidy credits on the screen and the awards handed out for them, the production of a major feature film script does not come down to the genius, or lack thereof, of a single individual. Everyone familiar with the process of scripting a film knows how diffuse and tortured it is--with different writers often called on to contribute different scripts for a project from which different bits might be used or not used in one form or another, and single scripts passing from one hand to another, and specialists called in to fix this or "doctor that" (e.g. "Punch up the dialogue here, would ya?"), all as a pack of Irving Thalberg wannabes who cannot write a proper e-mail, let alone a script, meddle in the process at every turn--with all this compounded by the necessity of satisfying innumerable imperatives from anyone and everyone connected with the project on whose support they rely, from companies placing their products, to governments handing out subsidies.

As all this reflects, in comparison with others among the higher-profile creative personnel in Hollywood, writers have very little power (and all of us who know Marvel know what Uncle Ben says about power and responsibility). This, of course, is one reason why they are in the lousy situation that now has them striking. And of course, amid that strike one can expect the studio chiefs to be even more than usually inclined to writer-bashing.

"Didn't like the movie? It's those no-good writers' fault!"

That we should be expected to take such a claim seriously, especially in a moment like this, is an appalling insult to our intelligence--though even the insult is not so appalling as the possibility that the studio executives are themselves stupid enough to actually think along such lines.